paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Panties = found
Randomize
