i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
