he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We got so high we made milksteak
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
