I have demons in me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
