Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
