You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
