Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize