trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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