he looks like a really good dad on facebook
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
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