She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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