..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize