I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
