You really coming over, don't trick.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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