The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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