My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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