Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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