he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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