you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
