So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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