@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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