about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
3 2 1 whiskey
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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