So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I want a musical about memes.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
