i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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