hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
