from now on my penis is your penis
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize