Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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