i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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