There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize