I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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