Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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