Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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