it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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