I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I AM VODKA MAN
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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