Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
