I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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