That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
