youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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