Got a toothbrush?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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