I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
