Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
