i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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