Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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