If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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