Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
