it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
