Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
