we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
