Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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