SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
