You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Say something about gay babies.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
