Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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