I think scott just propositioned me for sex
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
