I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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