If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
