return my video game
What a fucking waste of an outfit
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
