Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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