People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
