i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
