we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize