i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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