too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
