I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
