i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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