a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
