Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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