is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
