I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
